Closed Adoptions Who am I ?

I am a adoptee out of millions out there. My exoperiences may be one and the same with some of them and so I thought I would write an article on Abused adoptees and share my experiences now that I am 36 years old and how my child hood has affected my life. I was adopted at birth or more at 6 months my Bio mom thought that she was only 6 months pregnant when she had me and she never set up an adoption when she found out that she was pregnant I am not quite sure what her thought process was at that time. She gave birth to me and had no plans what so ever for me nor did she have any intention or plans to keep me.  I was sent to a temporary foster home for 6 monthsthat is how them to find a perfect fit of a family for me.  I lived with my adoptive parents until I was 8 years old. From 6 mos to 4yrs life was peachy I was a cute and chunky fun responsive baby shy but warmed up pretty fast. very active. From 4 yrs to 8 yrs life for me was in a locked room with no toys only books I am am (amazing reader).  quite a few things happen to  me in those years that I will not get into because that is not the point of my blog. The things that happen were the reason that I had to leave the home at 8 yrs old. That is when I found out I was adopted from my social worker. That moment turned my whole young life upside down and added some very intense feelings and questions to my already challenged emotional state. So many questions the main few being who is my mom? why am I not going to her right now? where is my mom? From that day on those were questions that I would never get an answer to I was just told that My bio mom did what was best for me. 

So there is a mini bio just so that you guys have some what of an idea of my young back ground through out the years so much more will be added to that bio. 

Who am I? I am a tall brown female with light brown eyes and dirty brown hair (ugh) my nationality is still unknown to me. Growing up when I started filling out my own paper work at the Dr. office I quickly learned the word unknown My mothers maiden name = unknown my nationality= unknown. family medical history=unknown. when I took a class in college (cannot remember the class) the professor wanted us to do a family tree and once again I ran into the infamous question of my life WHO AM I? My professor didn’t understand that I didn’t grow up  in a family and I suppose that I could have creative and made a family tree with all of the people I met growing up on the streets. 

Not knowing who you are or where you come from is more important than people make it seem.

        

Closed adoption (also called “confidential” adoption and sometimes “secret” adoption) is a process by which an infant is adopted by another family, and the record of the biological parent(s) is kept sealed. Often, the biological father is not recorded—even on the original birth certificate.

“secret” adoption right there it just seems UN just I may biased and I am opened minded and I can understand in some certain situations where a closed adoption is necessary I do not believe that when closed adoptions came about that anyone had the child in mind at least  not the emotional future of the child I feel if the parents of the adoptee are not wanting to be found then that is fine but leaving all important information for them should be a must. It is already emotionally draining on the adoptee to be adopted in the first place and there are always different stories and there are some adoptees completely content with their adoptive parents and the information that they have.   I am assuming that there are hundreds like me where things did not work out with their adoptive parents and they were put in a awkward situation in finding out that they were adopted and all of these questions that you can not have answers to until your 21 years of age.

I have always been curious as to where I exactly came from if I look like my mother or have any of her characteristics those answers I ll never get now. I know that others may still have that chance !!!

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